My Paisley Chair

Today I am absolutely certain there will be NO red shoes in heaven! I came to this conclusion yesterday as (1.) I packed away my Christmas decorations (lots of red shoes) (2.) yesterday was my mom’s birthday (certain calendar days I miss her more profoundly), and I just walked by a mirror and saw my mom in the reflection (I look more like her EVERY day).

For years I have collected red shoes of all types – crystal, acrylic, jeweled, plain, small, and large, cookie jars, baby shoes and high heels. Journals, jewelry boxes, pins and especially Christmas ornaments can be found among my stuff. Though I have never watched the Wizard of Oz all the way through (somehow, I lose interest at some point and/or fall asleep) I know this much about the movie – Dorothy is homesick. If she can just get a pair of ruby red shoes, click the heels together and repeat “There’s no place like home!” three times, she will magically be transported back home to those she loves.

I can speak about homesickness because there have been years in long stretches that I lived far away from parents, children, and grandchildren. And though “home” for me is where David is, I know the ache of being a 12-hour drive away from the people I love. Thus, the red shoe collection! When I would find a pair of red shoes, I would send just one of them to my mom and tell her “If I ever find a pair of these that work you know where I’ll be!” People who know me well, know and understand when I wear my “Red Shoes Pin”, tears are on the edges of my eyes and the struggle is real.

It might be possible to go through life without knowing the physical ache, loss of breath, can’t get out of bed, and hot tears of homesickness. But that is not my story. I am well acquainted with these chronic symptoms and have spoken with the Lord about them on many occasions. There are some “thorns in the flesh” that can’t be seen and rarely anyone knows about. Like Paul, I quit praying for the removal of this condition, because His grace is sufficient for all things (2 Cor 12:9). If you have never been homesick, “Bless Your Heart!”, you just don’t know.

This line from a poem “I’m homesick for a place I’ve never been” provided a paradigm shift for me and I realized homesickness is a gift. You see, I would never be homesick if I didn’t love deeply. However, holidays would lose their luster, unanswered phone calls wouldn’t matter, there would be no need to schedule a next visit before leaving, and the craving to be WITH would not overwhelm (my mom would say “overWHAM”). What a gift to know the depth of love that stokes the fire of homesickness.

Jesus understood this! He knew it would “trouble” my heart to be distant from Him. He knew how desperately I need to know He loves me and have confidence that He will come back for me. He knew that where He is, that place, is home for me. (John 14:1-3). If this were not true, He would have told me! But until then … He satisfies the craving to be WITH because He never leaves me! (Matt 28:20, Heb 13:5). Until then, I will continue to look to Him, the Author and Finisher of my faith and anchor for my soul. (Heb 12:2 & 6:19)

There is a home that He is preparing for us where we will never experience homesickness or sickness of any kind, no tears, or pain. (Rev 21:4)

And …. NO RED SHOES!