My Paisley Chair

Now is the time for reflection! Reflection is something I schedule. I have a process and sequence, a time set aside to gain perspective on the progress of my own spiritual growth and set measurable goals for the future.

My first step in times of reflecting, is like spending time at a reflection pool that is shallow enough to splash around in and have some fun. Splashing around and enjoying some fond memories to see if I look anything like I remember.  Ripples in the water calm down quickly and when the waters become still again, I can see the reflection of what I have become. Though reflections are sometimes cloudy and vague, a general resemblance will appear that gives me clues to the current state of affairs. The image I see reveals character changes and challenges. 

Scripture speaks of reflections in Prov 27:19 – As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.

When it is time to look beyond the surface reflection of face, I have to wonder if my heart is reflecting the transformation of spiritual growth. As I continue to reflect, I remember that I am called to look into the love and glory of the Lord. Knowing that I can only see in part now, and though dimly, I can see enough to know if I am being changed from glory to glory by gazing into the reflection of Christ I see in His word (2 Cor 3:18). If I will look intently in the word, I will see Him for who He is, and be changed.

When I look intently into the perfect law of liberty, I will also find out who I am in Christ and what that is supposed to look like.  James 1: 21-25 also tells us about the necessity of looking deeply into the word and applying the truth to our life. If we only hear the word and neglect the doing, we are like those who look at their reflection and immediately forget what they are supposed to look like. It is only by life application of the word of God that we will obtain the blessing in this scripture to “be blessed in what we do.”

Introspection on the other hand, for me, is completely different! This is not a scheduled activity, but I’ve come to realize must be immediately responded to when prompted and offered the opportunity – within certain parameters. This is what I’ve learned and works for/with me.

If reflection is like a shallow pool, introspection is the deep well. Wells are completely different in structure, function and purpose. Often the bottom can’t be seen and any possible reflection would be distorted and dark. One might find themselves spiraling in and most likely drown trying to get a close look at the reflection.

I will continue to fight the urge to fall into the deep well of introspection by myself. (Contemplatives and Introverts understand the dangers associated with this concept.) The task of searching out the deep things of life should always be left to the Holy Spirit. In His time and mercy He will pull from the depth of resource to bring up the refreshing provided by drawing out revelations necessary for growth and future harvest. It is no wonder the psalmist relied on the Spirit as he requested God to “search him and know his heart, test and know my anxious thoughts” Ps 139:11.

The way I recognize the need for a deep dive is this – a response that didn’t fit the occasion. Though scripture indicates “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”, I would like to believe this is not always the case. Sometimes my responses are inconsistent with what is on the surface of my heart, letting me know there are deeper issues at hand. When a retort indicates anger I didn’t know I was harboring, or hurt that has gone unnoticed, I need to refer to the “Junk Drawer” of my soul. Nothing large resides there, just the little things that I didn’t want to deal with at the time. All sorts of little things can live in a junk drawer without issue until a need arises that necessitates laying hands on them.

I can’t help but wonder if junk drawers would be empty instead of well-organized if we just dealt with issues as they surfaced, much like finding a place for everything and putting everything in its place. Rather than shove a hurtful comment in the back corner, seek restoration. Taking the high road as a better option than assuming a fault in another. The possibility of forgiveness over holding a grudge. Keeping a confidence and letting love cover a multitude of offense.

Annie Chapman’s song of the 1990s “There’s a place in my heart where even I don’t go. I’ve got some things hidden there, I don’t want no one to know”. Only at the gentle prompting of Holy Spirit – “There’s some things I’d like to talk with you about. When you’re ready, let’s look in the junk drawer together.” 

What would happen if we let Holy Spirit talk to us on a regular basis and deal with issues one at a time? Putting offenses in proper perspective, organizing thoughts, revealing motives, rationalizing emotions in light of the Word of God and Christ’s work in our lives – this is what Holy Spirit is great at!  If He is just waiting on us to ask – what are we waiting on?  Isn’t it easier to deal with things one at a time?

Basic “Fight Fair Rules” of engagement are #1: NEVER bring up past offenses, deal with the issue at hand. Wouldn’t this be true of dealing with issues of the heart as Holy Spirit brings them to mind? A friend’s husband has amended this rule to “If after twice being asked, “what’s wrong?” and the response in “I’m fine”, then you can NEVER bring that up again and you ARE fine!” 

Maybe if we practiced this technique with Someone we have total confidence in their love, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and mercy, we could get better at this with humans. 

Word of Caution: Introspection is safer when accompanied by a friend, mentor, pastor, or counselor, but should NEVER be ventured into without the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. Without the guidance of Holy Spirit and a firm grasp on the Word, introspection can rapidly digress from conviction to condemnation (see other study).  Only the Spirit knows the deep things of God (1 Cor 2:10-11) and how to navigate our emotions, motives and  hidden agendas in light of what God has in mind for our destiny. We must be ready at the revelation of growth opportunities to capture the thoughts that are contrary to the Word and bring them in line with obedience to the Word.

There has been much written about the “dark night of the soul” which I am convinced is a deep dive into our inner issues without the Comforter, that leaves the place of safety and security, can lead to the condition of a soul “cast down”. While we are instructed to examine ourselves at the table of the Lord and then eat, even this self-examination is done in the presence of the Lord, at His prompting and with His guidance, with restoration readily available to be applied.

Gaze at your reflection, my Friend and consider if you are looking more like the Master with the passage of time. Then look intently into the face of the One who loves you unconditionally and let His smile settle your soul.